You need WHAT in your garage? Really?

O.K., I don’t do this too often on this blog but every now and then I have to point out something I think is just ridiculous.

I do a lot of reading.  A disproportional amount of that reading is car magazines. (To my son:  Yes I will get to the two Stephen King novels you bought me…promise!!)  In fact, I get so many car magazines that it’s difficult to keep up (sounds like a New Year’s resolution is in order).  They stack up and my wife’s patience goes the opposite direction with my messy side of our shared office and piles here and there of unread periodicals. (O.K.  so that New Year’s resolution may turn in to a  ‘CLEAN IT UP’ New Year’s directive, in which case, failure to comply would not be an option.)

In the course of all this reading I’ve become familiar with a lot of writers and their styles (some I communicate with via email or social network).  You also gain a  general over all tone of their respective magazines.  With the exception of  my favorite writers at the mega car publication company (SHOUT OUT TO) Hemmings (I refer to them as “They Who Do No Wrong”) who seem to be pretty down to earth and hug the middle line pretty well, it’s clear that some car magazines want to project a blue-collar image and others a blue blood image.  Every now and then, the blue-collar want-to-be’s do grab a seat on the snob express and leave us average guys going.”..W..T..H(family blog)!?!?!?!…..REALLY!?!?!?!”

My inner lawyer cautions me to not use names of magazines and writers, of course suing me would pretty uneventful, you might end up with a 70 Mustang coupe and a 302 and that’s about it.   My inner writer says “If you ever want to move your writing anywhere other than on this blog, do not insult the established press.”  My inner wise-ass (still family safe, I believe) wants to poke fun by name at both (magazine and writer). Normally my inner wise-ass wins.

So I am reading the latest Car Craft, Jan 2011 (yeah, it some how ended up on top of the pile) which I considered a blue-collar magazine, lots of get dirty articles and useful techie stuff and not just shiny  pages, shiny paint and expensive wheel. Well apparently I missed the fact that they were moving to a new location (probably in a back issue I haven’t gotten to yet..if I can find my Car Craft pile again”).  All I can say is “WOW” and  “the Auto Magazine business must be paying good”, because their new garage is to die for!!!  Really, how did they ever survive without an ocean front garage in El Segundo, Ca. where, while you are on your lunch break, you can catch a bite to eat, a Pepsi and a wave ???!!!!!  With a few more earthquakes my Arizona home might one day be ocean front property.

O.K., fine,  so a quick Google shows the Car Craft garage address isn’t actually on the beach and really location isn’t  my point.  What is, is the article that Mr. Douglas Glad wrote in the “Front Man” section – “Man Cave”. Specifically a couple of items, he believes are necessary in a garage.  He states “…every car guy’s garage needs the basics to be useful and a good place to get away from school, diapers,….”  Hey, I get that, I was a stay at home  Dad for a while and sure, you must have the tools to get the job done.  I was really interested to read what he thinks we average car guys (I just tossed in the “average”) need in our garages.  But at the next paragraph’s bold heading, I stopped and said “What?”  I then scanned the other six paragraphs’ headings and was dismayed, but I read on hoping I could salvage something from the piece.

First critical piece of functional equipment was a….MIG welder?  Nope. How about a parts cleaning machine? Nope.  How about a flat screen T.V.? Yes. But according to the article, it doesn’t have to be huge.  So what’s next? I’ll just list them:

1. A movie collection of guy movies – I have an AM FM radio and CD player (old), most of the stations are static interrupt by parts of a song or commercial and the player skips. I’m normally so wrapped up in what I’m doing it just becomes white noise anyway.

2. A wall collage – If there is that much space on my garage wall, I’ve got some nails and stuff to hang from them and a Hemmings’ Muscle Machine calendar.

3. An art school grad’s, air brushed wall art – Same As Above

4. Electrical – 220 – Now I can get behind that.  Right on!

5. Trosley Car Portrait – First WHAT!?!? Then…Same as 2 and 3.

So I’m taken back. My image of a greased smeared blue uniform shirt wearing, lay a wrench on it, magazine, has been crushed.  Has Car Craft gone soft?  Do they out source the work and just drive  the finished project in for photo ops?

Am I shocked and dismayed or just jealous?  The latter!!!!

I dedicate this to a follow car guy who I purchases some used parts from a while back. Bill is restoring his dream car  in a 3 sided building in the mid west, where in the winter,  he normally has to shovel snow out of the way to work on it. You rock.. Bill!!!

Thanks for reading.


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